Reasons To Celebrate

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

                                            --Chinese Proverb

Today I write happily...this is my song. Everything seems fresh and new after a bout with the flu. It is strange, sometimes, how illness comes upon us. In one moment we are at our desk working and the next we are lying down too tired to care about the next thing that needs to be done. So we allow our body the rest that it craves...with only a little guilt. That is, we notice the thoughts passing by..."this needs to be done, that should be done". It didn't matter there was no energy for the doing, no way to push myself. This was Spirit forced rest.

The spin class went on without me and I had no balance for yoga so I paid attention to my breathing...slowly, succinctly, breathing with the knowing that this time spent in sickness was my unwelcome friend.

Last week I had inexplicable bursts of anger and now old fashioned influenza knocked me for a loop. Is there a learning that wants to be noticed? 

I had lunch recently with Alan Mong who works for a company that trains business people on expanding their memory and reaching their goals. His boss trained under Byron Katie who created a method called "The Work". In this method you ask yourself about things that are bothering you, "is it true?". You continue in this questioning until you find the things you are causing you upset  and find that they are not necessarily true, they are only your perception of things. I asked Alan about these angry outbursts...is it possible to change your basic nature? I understand that the answer is yes...I do not know that I believe this is true. Yes, we can change the way we think about things and many times this can be beneficial. Or we can encourage ourselves to be more extroverted or pull in a little if we are too extroverted. 

Why is it that I constantly have to change? Why do I have to constantly prove myself? Am I doing this as Soul work? Is this the reason I am here? "I'd love to see my type A husband have to meditate and contemplate our connection to Spirit for even short periods of time". No, I wouldn't want to see that, it would be too painful for him and I love and admire who he is.

Whatever it is that is calling for my attention...I will not turn away...leaning in and focusing my concentration in this place is the only way through. In a book called, "I Am The Door", I read a line the goes something like this, "if you walk up to a wall of fear with faith it turns into a door".

Where will this door lead?