About Me

"Happiness...not in another place, but this place, not in another hour, but this hour."

                                                                                       Walt Whitman

It is a stormy day in Florida...it kind of matches my mood. I woke up this way...feeling like a tiger in a cage that is too small. Striding from one side to another snapping my tail and growling if someone dares to speak to me. Doesn't sound very Spiritual does it?

My Soul feels unsettled and I noticed right away. The inner dialog with Spirit goes something like this: " I am feeling caged, trapped and like a nobody...why am I angry?" Spirit says: You are choosing these thoughts and with them come these feelings, stop. Me: That's easy for you to say you aren't the one who has done nothing with her life. Spirit: Is that the way you're choosing to see your life today?

I know I cannot continue the assault on my being I have been listening to Spirit for far too long.

I walk outside to work in my garden, there are new azaleas to plant since I want to fill them in from one side of the yard to the other. Working in the dirt is good for me. I dig and plant and somehow work through my jagged edges. 

I learned from Spirit long ago not to heed the negative thoughts that sometimes pummel me telling me I am not a worthy human being because I am not a type A doer that I sometimes I wish I were. I am not as accomplished as I had hoped to be. I am mostly quiet, always paying attention inside my mind and outside in life. I am a nurturer. A space keeper. 

Today I am holding sacred space for my Self...even my writing is disconnected, but, I am writing anyway...knowing that these thoughts and feelings will pass. They do not come as often as they used to and they do not stay as long...there will be a time very soon when they will dissolve at the noticing.