Work As Play

"Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success."

                                                                            Dale Carnegie, lecturer and author

Lately work has whisked me away from the realities of my life, once again. I get so wrapped up in the intrigue of it all that sometimes, I look out and realize that other important things are also going on. My company is on the verge of great success or utter failure. My husband and I have given up pretty much all aspects of our previous lives for this internet company. We were apartment owners with a beautiful house in a downtown setting. But the lure of something larger drew my husband in.

Because I did not cultivate and go after my own dreams I have been drawn into another's. Sometimes I play the blame game but, I know that the reason I am in this place at this time, is because I didn't take responsibility for my own life. This has been a hard pill to swallow. 

The other night my husband and I were walking home after a neighborhood party and it occurred to me that we have given everything up for a website...I was filled with deep despair and anger at my husband for making these possibly horrible choices and dragging me along with him. 

God/Spirit does not allow me the luxury of hiding from the truth for long. While I knew that I was supposed to learn and grow in my new life circumstances and embrace them as best I could, what eluded me was my own part in this drama. Always thinking that my husband has lessons to learn before things will change and I am here to help and expand myself...

Last night I heard my Soul laugh at me! In all of my life circumstances either Spirit or Ego tries to take a stand and as Spiritual as I want to be....my ego has been blinding me to an ugly truth. I am fully at fault for all of my life circumstances including this one. There is no one else to blame.

I have grown through this and will continue to grow while uncovering the answer to the question...What is this here to teach me? Not anyone else...this is my journey.