Reasons To Celebrate

"Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else."
                                                                                         Leonardo da Vinci

Lately I have been pulled into a piece of my past that I had laid aside for many years. We do that sometimes, put things and memories away for later. Little snippets of thoughts and pieces of dreams would come to mind and then drift away. 

This was a time that has warm memories. A time when a group of twenty somethings were living in southern California.

My teen years were spent listening to (and singing with) the Beach Boys. Outside, the Ohio winters were howling but inside my room was the sound of the beaches in California. A state I had never set foot in. In fact, other than my grandparents farm in Tennessee I had never left Ohio and Michigan.

But there came a day when I decided to go. When I told my Mom I was leaving, she just said "I always knew you would do something like this". I didn't understand what she meant but she didn't try to stop me. I had no credit cards and little money I also had no doubt that I would get there. I slept in rest stops along the way sometimes lying back on a picnic table for a quick nap. I wasn't fearful at all, just living the adventure moment by wonderful moment.

When my car broke down in the desert on the last leg of my journey I just got out of my car and tilted my head back soaking up the sun. Shortly a van with extra water for my radiator stopped to help and in minutes I was on my merry way. I loved that journey! I was venturing out on my own at last, hoping to leave that lost mixed up soul I had become, behind.

My mother had also reminded me that I would be taking me with me, and she was right. I brought my habits, my thoughts, my image of my Self. I also brought the frightened girl who continually talked to Spirit/God asking for guidance while sometimes not listening and making many mistakes. Making my Self feel bad then trying again. I love that younger me for always trying again...for never giving up. She was sometimes foolishly fearless and somehow always protected. She still makes me smile.

The rule breaker rebel I once was is still here. She is living peacefully with the nice girl who does the right thing just because that is what she wants to do.

Take good care of those parts of you that you may not want others to see. Those are part of the very fiber of your being. What you did, thought, said, that you wish to keep hidden helps you discover the parts of you that you shine up and put on display...on Facebook, at work, in front of friends.

There is a loving force that is always there to call on...that permeates our very existence with love. Pause a moment and feel this beautiful energy with your next breath. Always there. Always faithful.

Until next time...take really good care.

About Me

"Happiness...not in another place, but this place, not in another hour, but this hour."

                                                                                       Walt Whitman

It is a stormy day in Florida...it kind of matches my mood. I woke up this way...feeling like a tiger in a cage that is too small. Striding from one side to another snapping my tail and growling if someone dares to speak to me. Doesn't sound very Spiritual does it?

My Soul feels unsettled and I noticed right away. The inner dialog with Spirit goes something like this: " I am feeling caged, trapped and like a nobody...why am I angry?" Spirit says: You are choosing these thoughts and with them come these feelings, stop. Me: That's easy for you to say you aren't the one who has done nothing with her life. Spirit: Is that the way you're choosing to see your life today?

I know I cannot continue the assault on my being I have been listening to Spirit for far too long.

I walk outside to work in my garden, there are new azaleas to plant since I want to fill them in from one side of the yard to the other. Working in the dirt is good for me. I dig and plant and somehow work through my jagged edges. 

I learned from Spirit long ago not to heed the negative thoughts that sometimes pummel me telling me I am not a worthy human being because I am not a type A doer that I sometimes I wish I were. I am not as accomplished as I had hoped to be. I am mostly quiet, always paying attention inside my mind and outside in life. I am a nurturer. A space keeper. 

Today I am holding sacred space for my Self...even my writing is disconnected, but, I am writing anyway...knowing that these thoughts and feelings will pass. They do not come as often as they used to and they do not stay as long...there will be a time very soon when they will dissolve at the noticing.